I still haven't discovered what to do after the pose...

So earlier on, we had a pretty lengthy discussion about the supposedly democratic test the United States offers for all students, who supposedly have an equal opportunity of getting into American colleges. It's not just because I didn't get a great score, but that I saw something so true...an incontrovertible truth...about today's society, and saw myself looking down a vista which I'm sure Malcolm Gladwell took a peek at too. Leaders all over the world struggle to make the world a better place...everyday people all strive for world peace, anything, to make their lives better, those around them better. But. You're looking in the wrong fucking direction you stupid dumb fuck. 

The answer? We need to create a society that truly provides an equal opportunity for all. A chance for everybody to be able to take part in whatever we do. I know that's been said a million times before, and that's why I'm starting to feel pretty useless, pretty nihilistic. But what we really need to do, is replace those people who got to where they were because of lucky chances, fortunate places of birth...the ones we deem "fortunate" who aren't really fortunate, but are just goddamn lucky son of a bitches. The whimsical conveniences that have dictated success needs to be eradicated, and in its place, a euphorically equal society. 

Also google: Tom Hanks

The problem is, how? I'm confused. Hence the play on Oscar Wilde's quote, "The first duty in life is to assume a pose. What the second is, no one has yet discovered." 

I have this (most probably shared) theory that we all have a little bit of everything within us. We're all nihilists, realists, optimists, existentialists, idealists - no matter how much they conflict with each other. When I look around me every day and feel a moment of jamais vu I realise that the very laws that keep us from chaos, are the actual ones actually causing it. Like so many great thinkers in the past centuries have realised is that being trapped within the condemnation of boredom is what chaos is engendered from. Without turmoil, there will never be peace. If things don't break, things won't get any better. Within this aviary of societal norms we're restricted to, and the seconds of jamais vu I feel everyday, I look into the faces of these people who've conformed to the disease of consumerism (including myself and therefore my self-loathing), and realise that nobody knows who they are. Not you, not me, not a single fucking body has found their true identity. 

Also google: cynicism

You bunch of fucking schleppers haven't an idea who you are! Selby Jr. said it right! You haven't got a clue! Don't borrow my identity! Don't borrow his identity! Stop running around thinking you know who you are! Stop running around searching for one! Eighty years of life will equal demise if you spend the whole time thinking you need to define yourself! You are the answer. Stop looking. The nihilist is you. The existentialist is you. God is you. The higher being is you. You have now become the center of your own universe. Please proceed. 

As always. "You have a class of young strong men and women, and they want to give their lives to something. Advertising has these people chasing cars and clothes they don't need. Generations have been working in jobs they hate, just so they an buy what they don't really need. We don't have a great war in our generation, or a great depression, but we do, we have a great war of the spirit. We have a great revolution against the culture. The great depression is our lives. We have spiritual depression." 

An absolute classic. That's Chuck Palahniuk in a nutshell. Oh, and I think I've found what will ultimately be my Nirvana. To one day feel like I'm "too weird to live, too rare to die". Sounds good? Thought so. 

Boom, crash, the world is ending. Have I contradicted myself?